Introverts: A Misunderstood Bunch

Published in North Central Chronicle on January 18, 2008.

In a world where talk is cheap and time is money, life for an introvert can often become disorienting and exhausting.

In a society dominated by extroverts, who gear more towards conversation and activity, introverts become marginalized for our perceived lack of social skills. The truth is that introverts hardly lack social skills. We simply get our energy from being alone rather than from being with other people. That trait is too often confused with shyness, but in fact we may just want to be left alone.

Extroverts have a difficult time discovering this distinction. Because of their shorter conversational attention spans and inability to be alone for extended periods of time, they do not, or simply cannot, understand their introverted friends. They ask an introvert to dinner and do not understand why they would rather stay home alone and read than socialize. Or perhaps they balk at an introvert’s request to leave a party after only a short time, not knowing that the introvert cannot take much more mindless chatter.

We introverts fight battles constantly. We fight with leagues of extroverts for airtime to voice our carefully-crafted thoughts. We fight for time alone everyday to recharge and recollect. We fight the stereotypes branded on us, wishing for nothing more than understanding. We also feel like picking a fight when we’re asked, “Are you all right?” for the hundredth time, when all we want to do is remain deep in thought.

Often our reluctance to socialize leads extroverts to believe that we introverts are arrogant, detached, or self-absorbed. This misconception is probably due to an introvert’s disdain for small talk. Our days are filled with thinking—we like to figure out exactly what we’ll say before saying it—so the concept of small talk seems obligatory and a waste of time. But even more than small talk, introverts hate repeating themselves. Calvin Coolidge once said, “If you don’t say anything, you won’t be called on to repeat it.” I wonder if Coolidge would have even survived in today’s political atmosphere.

But we introverts must trudge on. In the article “Caring for Your Introvert” by Jonathan Rauch, the author writes, “Many actors, I’ve read, are introverts, and many introverts, when socializing, feel like actors.” We learn to put on a happy, sociable face when it’s called for, if only to keep the inquisitive extroverts off our backs. Indeed, before I enter a social circus, I have to mentally ready myself for an unknown amount of hyper-interaction. I tell myself, “This is a party. You can have fun and talk with people.” I try not to be a recluse, but sometimes my social battery runs out and irritation quickly sets in.

Perhaps one day, extroverts will understand the hell they put us introverts through. Perhaps one day, breaks in conversation will not seem awkward, and small talk will not be required to maintain proper etiquette. Perhaps one day, extroverts will discover the joy of seclusion, and the value of stillness. Perhaps. Until that day, you extroverts should be more mindful of your quieter, less convivial peers. Do not ask them why they’re so quiet, or why they want to be left alone, because the reason is probably you.


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Janine March 31, 2008 Reply

Hi! I’m an introvert too and just the same as you are, I find myself very tired of socializing with others. I enjoy being alone but for the sake of not being misunderstood as a recluse and a weird person, I try to socialize with others though I’m still the quiet type. I feel my soul being drained of itself of ideas. Any tips on regaining that self back? Please email me…

ZTM June 21, 2008 Reply

I’m so wonderfully relived to find your blog entry. You being like me a white 1st world male. You and I share the same perspectives and personality. I have just recently decided to research the “introvert” term on google after having it hammered into my mind by extroverts that i’m just depressed. I agree with all that you said. about small talk and social situations. I find it very difficult to reconcile myself with the people of this society. I feel bad for them. I’m strongly spiritually guided, so I do not really make much fuss about it. I realize that what negativity I put out comes back 10 times fold it seems.

But I wish there was a way for me to participate in a extroverted world without the negative attraction extroverted personalities seem to have on mine.

In Buddhist terms it would appear that the extroverts are simply in a different level of being then introverts are – we however being both in samsara have to suffer. Obviously introverts are in the stage of self mastry while extroverts are in the stage of self actualization.

Having ruthless motherly compassion for them we can transcend any negativity – by relationship or oppression in society.

Nonetheless I would be much happier if I could get along with more people on my level – It’s quite unfortunate that for extroverts to be happy they have to oppress introverts.

This is yet another expression of the “masculine” spoiling the “feminine”. Although I am a male and suffering probably more on a daily level much more profoundly than any woman by having her wages reduced simply on the basis of gender…

I realize there is some sore negative feeling in this post but I mean it with the best intentions… =)

I think perhaps with these changes occurring in consciousness due to the point in history we are at and our proximity to 2012
… we can actually have reason to hope on an external scale.

Anonymous June 22, 2008 Reply


I think I understood most of what you wrote, but not all of it. I don’t agree that introverted males suffer more than women who have reduced wages due to their gender.

I also don’t think the Buddhist ideas fit into what I was talking about. Introversion has nothing to do with transcending consciousness, but rather with human orientation. It’s something that can be modified throughout one’s life, but not completely reversed.

KB June 28, 2008 Reply

I am an equine veterinarian – have practiced solely in stables, in plain view of all in the horse industry. I am a household name among the horse people in my community. This job requires the highest
degree of extroversion that I can imagine. The horse industry in this country is very dynamic and competitive. It is a small community where no secrets are kept, and in this community the veterinarians work in a glass house. Horse people love their animals, and they love to talk about them.
In general I think they appreciate vets and like to welcome them into their social circle.

I appreciate my clients and their kindness, respect and consideration for me, but I am very introverted. I must be talkative and interactive in my profession so as to give the animals the best care – after all- the owners must know and trust me enough to follow my direction. Actually, I like my clients and enjoy working with them.

This is the hard part.
I am in the profession that everyone wanted to “be” as a kid.
So I get a lot of attention socially and at work about this, and
it is overstimulating. I do not care much for lots of social interaction, and feel like a target for it because of what I do. I get asked by many kind, well-meaning clients, who want my company, to go to dinner, art events in town, on trail rides, to horse shows, etc etc – which leads to more of the same – I always politely decline, because I am introverted and would rather be with my small circle of old friends, my family, and my animals. Those events are like more work for me.
While I am proud to be a vet, I don’t like to make it the center of conversation at social events. Parties with those who just found out what I do are the worst for me– oh, you’re a vet, I wanted to be a vet, I heard its hard to get in to vet school, have you read the James Herriott books – and by this time I am embarrassed and emotionally exhausted because of all of the attention. Everyone asks what everyone does in this country – we are about what we do – the problem is that I get extra extra attention for it, and it makes me uncomfortable. At parties I put on my game face, stay a while and retreat, with relief, back to my home.

The worst part is my cell phone. Clients have it available for an emergency, and the message says specifically that the line is only for that purpose. Clients frequently leave non-emergency messages, even at night and on the weekends, with the preface “I know your message says emergencies only, but… – and its never urgent – often it is a social call or a message that could have been left on my email or office line. My cell phone is my worst enemy – I am
on alert, right along with the rest of the world, to be an instant extrovert.

I started dreaming about being a vet at age 7. After 8 years of school I have been practicing 22 years. I decided to stop taking new clients and have individually contacted the people who use my cell for non-urgent matters. It has been very difficult because some have not been supportive.
But it has not been as difficult as the realization that I have teenagers who would have had a better mother if she had been truer to herself earlier in their lives.

I send this letter with both trepidation and relief. If you are a client and stumble across this, please know that it is not personal – I simply have to move closer to my own truth.

I am not a veterinarian. That is just what I do for a living. Unless there is an emergency that I am responsible for, I like to leave it all behind after work hours.
I think most of society does not understand this. It comforts me to think that some one here might.

DB September 30, 2008 Reply

Hello! I agree with you 100% “Introverts: a misunderstood minority of society” !

lysteria January 13, 2009 Reply

It’s true that intorverts are misunderstood. Being one myself I know how much escaping from everyone and having some alone time means. And you are right when you say this world is dominated by extroverts. This then raises statements like “survival of the fittest”.

Yes, they can’t change us and they don’t understand us completely. But we can’t change them or understand them completely. In a way it’s a stalemate. We can try to explain what we feel but in the end if someone has not experienced something there is no way they can completely understand it.

We just have to make the most of what we have.

luna January 17, 2009 Reply

I noticed the article pertained mostly to socializing. Introversion and extroversion are terms that describe a person’s energy source, not how they socialize although it is affected.

Also, I agree with lysteria about how both extroverts and introverts can only understand so much about the other; that we have to make the best of what God gave to us. “Survival of the fittest” is interesting. What reason is there that extroverts beat introverts 3:1? Is action truly better than reflection? Or does it just seem to get things going?

unclegluon April 23, 2009 Reply


I too on paper am a member of the majority and find this to be a much needed written statement.

My blog is devoted to the nature of introversion and this post is now on my roll!

Malawi_dub June 22, 2009 Reply

Hey all, thanks for writing. i have just turned 25 and figuring out that I am introverted.
Well I have known for a long time but just tried to get along normally in life with friend s etc.

Not that it ever worked.
So, I guess I have givin up on a “normal” life.

How do you deal with friends?
How do you tell them?

I can only spend like an hour with you at a time before I have no more to say, nor energy to say anything.

Its a hard life full of battles, but every one you learn from, and you grow from.

I often think of a “pill” that would wipe my memory completly, and let me start clean, to be apart of society, to be “normal” to sociallise, party, all that stuff that from the outside looks like a happy life.
But i think about the person I would be on the inside, I couldnt live that life and have the same morals, repect, knowledge that I have now.

So as much as I want it, I would have to sacrifise so much to obtain it.

I moved to another country when I was 21, I had to, if i stayed home, I probly wouldnt have survived. I had to escape/run i guess. I tried to start life again, but i was still here.
What good is running away if whatever we are is still there?

Do Introverts ever realise happiness?

I personally dont feel like I can make a girl happy in a long term relationship.

Can introverts have romantic relationships?

Does it come down to luck or just a hole lot of rejection to find a girl who accepts you?

I feel a destiny of being alone, and I guess that scares me.

lysteria June 22, 2009 Reply

actually, since I last wrote here I’ve changed..not into an extrovert but just into, well, myself really. And I’ve come to realise a few things:

Being an introvert shouldn’t make you feel bad, if it’s really who you are, you should feel normal and comfortable with it. If you’re feeling alone or sad, it’s not the same as being introverted. It could be, and I’m putting this bluntly because sometimes it needs to be said bluntly, that maybe you’re feeling depressed of insecure. I say this through experience, not through scientific knowledge, but just my own experiences.

Happiness is a choice. Ultimately, it is a choice. Saying this, you can always choose to be happy and everyone has the chance and capability of being happy.

But you’ve got to love yourself and by loving yourself (not to the extent of being vain or egoistic) by accepting and enjoying who you are, you find confidence. When you are confident people are attracted to that, positive pheromones are more inticing than negative ones. It’s quite possible to be confident and introverted, I know that because I am.

Malawi_dub, life is still possible and beautiful if you’re an introvert, because even if you are introverted, you can choose to enjoy yourself and look at the better side of things, there is always a way to achieving your dreams as long as you believe in it.

If your friends are real friends, they’ll understand and like you for who you really are. If they don’t, then you should probably find better friends because you deserve to have genuine ones.

A memory pill isn’t the answer, because every memory, every experience, has made you who you are today and you should celebrate and learn from that because it makes you who you are. running doesn’t help because the things you’re running away from will always be there. If you face them, you will at least have tried to conquer them (of course this doesn’t apply in the same way when dealing with anything dangerous though) .

By fearing hope, we’re not even taking a step forward. Dare to dream, because by hoping, we can achieve what we never thought possible. Hoping is that first tiny step, then suddenly before you know it, you’ve taken three more..everything will have a risk but you’ve got to be realistic and yet optimisitc at the same time.

Don’t give up. I believe you can do what you want to and that you can find happiness.

Elisabeth Baker July 23, 2009 Reply

Growing up, I was very shy and mistook myself for an introvert, but learned otherwise during college. Now I’m not usually shy, but often reserved, especially when I’m not in a relaxed social situation.

I thought of myself as boring until the second close introvert friend expressed to me that I was peaceful.

My boss is an introvert with a very strong game face–she could be a great actress–and if I have a game face, it’s as thin as tissue paper. This adds up to an interesting chemistry at the office.

I enjoy both my introverted and extraverted friends. I tend to analyze folks more on the spectrum of analytical to big-picture-oriented, or on the spectrum of thinkers to feelers.

In all of these, I suppose that it’s like being right-handed or left-handed–I’m strongly a right-handed, extraverted, analytical thinker, but that doesn’t mean I have zero dexterity on the other side. Some people seem to be more ambidextrous than others.

LM October 31, 2009 Reply

“Often our reluctance to socialize leads extroverts to believe that we introverts are arrogant, detached, or self-absorbed. This misconception is probably due to an introvert’s disdain for small talk.”

You don’t find having disdain for something arrogance? Small talk is engaged in and enjoyed by the majority of the population, and disdain is defined by Merriam Webster as “contempt” so you’ve just told us that introverts have contempt for a behavior of the majority population — you refer to their conversations as “mindless chatter”. And you wonder why people think introverts arrogant? This IS arrogance.

And the self described “focus on the self” or “inward-looking” nature of introverts, is, in fact, exactly what extroverts call self-absorbed. It is the definition.

Introverts on average do not have a better sense of self than extroverts, they just have so relatively little contact with others that they have not gained the necessary perspective to really see themselves. And like most atypical groups, find a niche on the internet where they, that is you, can try to convince yourselves this is not so and that you have, in fact, some innate superiority.

So while I’ve pointed out quite clearly that you are exactly as arrogant as you claim not to be, you will reject this…that’s just how the human ego works.

xen October 31, 2009 Reply

@Chad: Just take what LM wrote with a grain of salt, as this person has trolled on my blog too.

Chad October 31, 2009 Reply

LM, your wisdom is great. I can’t thank you enough for clearly pointing out how arrogant every introvert on earth is, including myself.

Clearly my little contact with other human beings has made it difficult for me to understand anything about myself. I’m just so glad that you, the clearly superior extrovert, could find enough time to browse the Internet for posts you could humbly clarify.

And seeing as you speak for “the majority” of “the population,” whatever that is, I’d like to thank you for informing me that the entire of this populous enjoys “mindless chatter.” This really clears up a lot of things about you, as the majority’s spokesperson.

So I’m glad we had this talk. As you can see, I have fully accepted your sublime commentary. I can now go back to my own “niche” where I can enjoy my sense of superiority. Of course, you wouldn’t do that, because you’re not on the Internet right now, carping anonymously on people’s personal thoughts.

Trudy November 2, 2009 Reply

Glad I stumbled into this post. Brilliant, honest and real. Thank you.

ENTP/INTP December 16, 2009 Reply

what’s up with all the bitterness in introverts on internet

Evan January 7, 2010 Reply

Despite the needless psychoanalyzing, LM has a point. Speaking as an introvert myself, the tone of this seems excessively arrogant towards extroverts. Did you really have to protest the stereotypes many extroverts have about introverts by stereotyping and insulting them right back? Telling other people that introverts don’t want to spend lots of time around them because we detest their mindless, inane babbling is just perpetuating the problem.

thesimbalife January 7, 2010 Reply

You’re right, Evan. I wrote the original post with a lot of pent-up frustration, so perhaps that explains the tone. And of course, not all extroverts babble on mindlessly. And the ones that do are simply too entertaining to dismiss.

So I’ll resolve in this new year to not let bitterness creep into my opinion of those extroverts who have lots of good stuff to say.

Kim February 2, 2010 Reply

Wow, it seems like finally im not alone!
In school it can get hard to be an introvert. Sometimes I wish to go all day without saying a word, but since I dont want the extroverts to think im crazy or something, i say hello and do some small talk. In class i always remain pretty quiet, and quite often people say to me that im quiet, and ITS IRRITATING. And i never know what to say back when they say im quiet besides saying DUH. I dont consider myself shy, but its so true that people get confused with shyness and quietness. Great article (: It makes me feel better about me not being as outgoing as most people.

LM March 1, 2010 Reply

I notice tat despite agreeing when an introvert points it out that you were being rude and arrogant, you don’t bother to apologize.

Chad March 1, 2010 Reply

You’re right: I didn’t apologize. I stand by what I said in spite of its tone.

And I don’t know why I would apologize. People may not like what I say. So what? If you feel like you’re owed something, you’re mistaken.

WhatDoYOuGet? March 29, 2010 Reply

I feel like maybe *this* is why introverts share a healthy disdain for an extrovert’s behaviour, this kind of bickering i see everywhere. I wont apologize either for holding many clueless extroverts in contempt, their behaviour seems entirely unconcious too much of the time. I think its even dangerous when more powerful people do it.

Society encourages extroversion, productivity, wanting to BE somebody and define yourself through their recongized channels only, and I think thats a very limited way to approach life in the long run. We’re seeing how thats impacting the state of the globe right now.

LM raised good points,especially about not getting lost in our own self righteousness & recongizing the strengths of extroverts too, but I think its more about balance than any one side being ‘right’ or ‘wrong’, a balance between introversion & extroversion.

That said, I say the world would be better off with some real self reflection- less action, less talking. Everyone talks, no one says anything. The world is far too stacked towards extroversion right now for its own good, towards DOing instead of BEing.

WhatDoYOuGet? March 29, 2010 Reply

The whole world is geared right now towards more more MORE and all i wanna do is less less LESS.

Marco June 12, 2010 Reply

I have experienced similar emotions and my viewpoints are from a different angle. I am not speaking for everybody of course but social needs are at the center of most human beings. I am not sure how much maybe my frustration is talking but at the moment I do feel that modern society life (I live in London) has a big impact on social relations. I am talking about being stuffed in a relatively small place with millions of people, leading a repetitive clockwork lifestyle, the usual work/commuting stress etc and feel this may be enough to cause social dissonance. There are obviously also intellectual dissonances, Individuality being among the highest goal a human can reach in our society, and yet how conscious are we of the fact that those baggy trousers and cool t-shirts with which we express our social nonconformity and individuality are actually what some evil masterminds in marketing and advertising offices planned to sell us as hip half a year ago.
Ok, enough ranting about society.

ISTJ/ISFJ July 27, 2010 Reply

Oh to be understood. I’ve been misunderstood my entire life … so tired of being judged as being ‘stuck-up’ or accused of thinking I’m ‘better than’ someone else. If only society would take the time to learn that extroverts aren’t the only ones out there. Oh where can I find some introverts to socialize with when I need that hour or two of people time? Would be so nice to have a friend that understands me!

Alltogether July 27, 2010 Reply

Try to be yourself and understand yourself first then you’ll be understood (maybe).

Lydia August 5, 2010 Reply

It’s been months since I’ve had any alone time. I’m running on my last battery.

Lori November 14, 2010 Reply

I’m 44 years old and have spent a vast majority of my life being misunderstood because of being an introvert. I was able to finally understand why my personality was so different than family members, co-workers etc when I took the Myers Brigg. I enjoy spending time alone and have been labled weird, moody, unapproachable etc. Because I know who I am helps me feel better about myself. If only other people would take the time to understand me then they wouldn’t be so quick to pass judgement or treat me as a outcast.

Ginny November 21, 2010 Reply

I think that there needs to be education about this group (which I am a part of). Whilst some people will never understand it, we can strive to achieve greater understanding in society and that we are not wrong in who we are. The fact that many out there judge us, makes some of us have low self esteem and irritability – which perpetuates incorrect myths about introverts. I have only started to read about this in-depth after a lifetime of people saying I am anti-social and not understanding myself. Of course most of us do the Myers-Briggs tests at work but the answers given are very much on a surface level and do not explain to the largely populated world about how these two different groups can interact in a way that is positive or explains that introverts are a minority – a sometimes gifted minority – but often misunderstood. We have begun to educate society about races, cultures, religions, sexual orientation – that none of these areas are wrong or necessarily done by choice – but they are healthy and deserved to be understood, represented and supported. I believe introverts need this as well as I cannot believe I am the only person who has entered into a family of extroverts and made to feel that I am not exactly right in who I am or going to a new job being judged according to an extrovert scale (so writing versus talking or needing to reflect on a situation rather than give an immediate response).

Delmar December 30, 2010 Reply

It’s very easy to lose yourself in the ocean of extroverts that surround us introverts. But, its entries such as these that allow me to feel sane again, to relate and know im not crazy, nor am I the only one who enjoys tranquility!

Saved to favorites!

Enigma January 16, 2011 Reply

I Know exactly what you mean , wonderful thought .

jugglefrummpy June 1, 2011 Reply

Holy smokes!!! Well said mah friend!! And all this time i thought i was some big ol jerk but lo and behold this word i decided to look up that my friend called me a couple of days ago.

I’m kinda still in awe at how well every things described, bam, boom, it’s all there! The feeling like an actor socializing, the other stuff, all that mess! I’m not fond of labeling things but this here i don’t mind one tick, introverted eh, lol i’ve been scouring the onlines for what seems like eons for what my condition was. And always thought it was a bad thing, as one would come to believe steeped in this world of extrovertism. Lol, sorry, i’m just a bit excited what with the life realizations. Good stuff!

grace m williams July 7, 2011 Reply

This is an excellent article. I, too, am proud to be an introvert. Introverted people I have found are more considerate, immature, intelligent, creative, deep and independent thinkers, and more unconventional than extroverts. I too was misunderstood by my teachers and peers. They wondered what was wrong with me? Duh, nothing at all.

I was the third smartest in my elementary school. I never socialized much as a child and teenager. I preferred being at home, reading and sketching than “hanging out” as the more extroverted teenagers would say. However, neighbors would remark to my mother how mature and level I was in comparison to their extroverted teens who caused them endless heartache. I am glad to be an introvert and would rather be one than an extrovert whom I have no use for at all.

grace m williams July 7, 2011 Reply

I made a typo- I was typing in the dark. I meant that introverted people I have known were more “mature”, not “immature”. I am so sorry for this. It is the extroverts who are grossy immature.

Ravi September 20, 2011 Reply

I lived as a introvert till age 20, then to experiment I joined the military and became an extrovert for 8 years, for 15 years I lived in Duality, people would say i never met a person like you being both. now I am looking for peace and harmony by combining both complex.

EriktheNF October 15, 2011 Reply

This is so true. But when I look at it back, I wonder how can an extrovert survive in the midlife crisis. Sure, most (but not all) extrovert that I know (teens, as I am) are immature and sometimes they have little regard for others feelings. Some of them, I can see so many “problem” in them but I won’t point it out for them (because it’s pointless obviously). Problems like cursing habits, vain talk, insults, sick practical joke, harsh judgment.

It made me think if they can ever reach that “depth” to understand. It made me wonder how long before they can really snap out of their addiction and the “high” of being around people.

Some extrovert I know, are quite thoughtful. While some others can sometimes be pure crap (seriously).

On the other hand being the downside of being an introvert is, sometimes you think a lot before diving yourself in, from “do I have enough energy for this?”, “is this person that worth it?”, or “is this what I should say to start the conversation?” and even “if I text her would she text me back? If she does will I be a able to follow through?”

Still, I’m happy being an introvert, and also NF, which makes me naturally creative and I do play music. I even have a band but I realize all member of my band are extrovert and I wonder how long before they start questioning my introversion… someday. That’s what we introvert sometimes crave very much. Sometimes we want everything to just shut down and even stop for a while – so we can get that energy back.

Siti November 30, 2011 Reply

This article is dead-on! Ive always been an introvert and always felt bad about being one. Ive always tried to make myself more hyper, fun, talkative,sociable and everything along those lines. But its just not me. Now I feel that i NEED NOT change the way i am. People who knows me well loves and appreciates me as who i am and they understand. But in general strangers,acquantances and some friends just dont – they’ll see me as arrogant, aloof – but fact is we introverts are just different and likes to be alone at times. I always feel misunderstood, and felt maybe there’s something wrong with me, and i need to change. But then thats just they way we are! Truth is we’re great just the way we are- kindness and acceptance towards others are still top priority – but other than that its our right if we want to be the reserved and introverted individuals we are.

LeoMarius February 2, 2012 Reply

“many introverts, when socializing, feel like actors.” I feel this way a lot. I like going to parties and meeting people, but I am typically one of the first to want to leave because I’m exhausted. Occasionally, however, I will find one or two interesting people to chat with and then I am as happy as a clam and can be the last to leave.

I am told I give excellent presentations, but they exhaust me. I just left a long meeting and the first thing I did when I entered my office was let a deep sigh of relief. Alone at last!

Angsty February 3, 2012 Reply

I rather not fit in so easily. Every chance I can I would bend the rules. I’m annoyed of the typical extrovert. That is to say, some are quite intelligent to understand this whole introversion-extroversion thing. Some others, would keep on assuming in a negative light until the fast paced, high-life no longer seems too appealing.

I maintain some few circle of friends though I have a lot more acquaintance (weak ties) but life in college is just straightforwardly nonsensical. I know this one extrovert who make friends easily with others but make others feel inferior by calling names and putting down in the way. Let’s just say this is my definition of “the typical unthinking, unethical extrovert”. He’s stupid not because he’s an extrovert but rather because of the choice he made. An idiot, in simpler word. Thank God some of my other extroverted friends are not an idiot like him.

Let’s just say what’s “weird” today could be normal tomorrow onwards. It’s just a matter of time. Articles on the internet about introversion/extroversion has multiplied over and over again, increasing. People, although not amass are gaining awareness. We just need to find more creative way to spread this “virus”.

After all this, if people refuse to understand then that’s their problem. No need for unnecessary smiles, waving hand, over-friendly chit-chat that is imposed at place where it’s “obligatory” to make yourself known to others too. It’s best to save your energy rather than wasting it for nothing.

There’s nothing wrong being yourself.

Anonymous September 12, 2012 Reply

I too suffer from the blight of social leprosy. But I know I am fully deserving of my outcast status because deep down I am a truly evil man. So keep hurling your slurs at me cruel world– spoken and unspoken. Perhaps this lonely penitent path will in some small way redeem me for my unspeakable crimes.

Merton September 22, 2012 Reply

Hmmmm why do most seem so polarized here?
I am an introvert with an extravert shield.
Can be the life of the party but also love to dive in books and shut everybody out for weeks.
Write poetry, stories but also enjoys raunchy jokes and soccer. Share the extreme dislike for cel phones; good that there is a out button.

See the solely introverted around me but find the tests and suspicions they put you through rather insulting and exhausting, but once as friend insightfull, humerous.
The solely extraverted are also exhausting and unfortunately rarely high educated but if they are you can have fun debates.

Being social is a study, you learn it to; make others feel more comfortable around you, have more change to get what you want.
From my experience most people (introverts and extraverts) hate being put in social situations were they do not know others, dressing up is a hell, listen to stupid jokes and miserly long stories without and clear point, shaking hands and go bla bla bla is exhausting. A lot just drink to get through it, nod here and there, find some type to talk to or misbehave with to get through the evening.

As for friends; take a selfobsessed extravert, let her/him talk and just nod, shake your head and say little encouraging things to keep the other talking (pick of course one who’s energy level is not annoying) and you both can be happy. One has a audience and the other has someone to appear social with.

The whole energy draining is often connected to toxic people, oh and also to dumb/mindless people, happy, intelligent and contend people rarely drain my energy.
Find the balance also depending on what fase of your life you are experiencing. For instance: stress can make every efford seem to much.
Young: introvert – mating season: extravert Study: introvert- shacking up: introvert – divorce/mating season: extravert

The term “normal” should be banned, met only 2 people who saw them selves “normal” while I saw them as simple, the rest was lucky enough just as complicated, confused as I am 🙂
My preference goes out to those weird, intelligent, and so extremely fascinating mixed up folks.

Best wishes,

Anita September 23, 2012 Reply

Dear LM: You do actually believe what you wrote, do you? But you are sure, it is the introverts trying to convince themselves of something that is not true? You might like to take a look into professional scientific literature, before you claim that these things said here, will only be written by people trying to convince themselves of something. I already read the same things in scientific literature. Btw. not feeling comfortable with sth. (e.g. small talk) is not excactly the same as “arrogance”, but sure lots of things look the same, if you don’t pay attention to the details… Btw this is one things that can be frustration and annoying and I don’t think that this is arrogance.


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