Which led to playing “Mah Na Mah Na” and discovering it absolutely crushes with 2 year olds especially—just the perfect amount of silliness and melodic bounce
Which then led to playing the chicken version of “Forget You” from the same soundtrack followed by the original (non-chicken, censored) Cee Lo Green version and rediscovering it absolutely crushes with 37 year old dads—just the perfect soul-pop bop
Continuing my unofficial series on problematic parenting clichés, there’s one I’ve heard a few times recently and must address:
“Little kids, little problems. Big kids, big problems.”
Setting the condescension aside, the idea is that all the challenging aspects of parenting babies and young children—e.g. diaper changes, loss of sleep, tantrums, potting training, keeping them from accidentally killing themselves—aren’t actually challenging compared to what parents of older kids and teenagers have to deal with like adolescent attitude, busy schedules, college applications, and tricky conversations about sex, drugs, technology, and so on.
Respectfully, this is a mound of malarkey.
Untruer words were never spoken
Obviously I’m slightly biased as the parent of young children. But as a former teenager myself, I’m clear-eyed about the challenges of that phase even if I haven’t yet been on the other side of it. So when I hear an older parent trot out that trite un-truism (which happened to me recently on two separate work calls), I’m inclined to diagnose them with early-onset gramnesia.
Which is understandable. If you’ve been out of this phase for a while, it’s easy to forget what the day-to-day is like. You can look back fondly on the cute pictures and innocent personalities without also feeling the toll of the daily grind that facilitates them. But for us currently in that stage, it’s a big problem if a nap gets skipped or a tantrum derails an outing or a car ride turns traumatic with a screaming toddler. Because all of those things directly affect our everyday life and psychological state.
Just go to any playground and look at the parents. While the ones with older kids (say, ages five and up) are reading or on their phones or otherwise checked out from the action, I am trailing my freshly minted two year old to make sure he doesn’t pick up garbage, try to put said garbage in his mouth, get bowled over by the bigger kids running around, or fall off a high spot on the playground. And this isn’t even overprotective helicopter parenting—it’s just life with a toddler. A joy and adventure, yes, but also constant.
Which is why I teared up at this reel from Oh Crap! author Jamie Glowacki, which validates what I already know to be true: that parenting almost always gets easier the more they age.
If you think little kid problems are small or insignificant compared to yours, then I hate to break it to you but in the grand scheme of things, no one besides you is concerned with your teen’s college search or team practice schedule or social media use.
Being a parent is hard. Period. Different stages present different joys and challenges—not big or small, just different. And if you ever want to gripe about them, no matter the age of your kids, I will validate your feelings and in solidarity send a ✊ or, more likely, a Katniss Everdreen salute. Because we parents always need the odds in our favor.
Yotos and Tonies. All day every day. Seriously great screen-free stories, learning, and music for the 5 year old, and something to hold and play with for the 18 month old. Great holiday gifts too for the parents/kids in your life.
Card games. The 5 year old has gotten big into Uno and enjoyed learning others like Old Maid and Slapjack. It’s been fun to watch his strategy evolve to the point where I don’t even have to consider letting him win since he wins plenty on his own.
Board games. While at the library a while back with the 5 year old, on a lark we sat down at their public chess board and I started teaching him the basics. He was hooked, so we got our own teaching set for home. Strategic thinking for chess has taken longer to develop but he’ll get there.
Books. The 18 month old’s current favorites: The Shape of Me and Other Stuff by Dr. Seuss, Find the Duck by Stephen Cartwright, Moimoi—Look At Me! by Jun Ichihara, and more. The 5 year old’s current favorites: the InvestiGators comics series, Pokémon character books, and a variety of library picture books.
The Wild Kratts theme song. Obviously we still watch the show itself often, since it’s usually the 5 year old’s pick for his limited screentime. But for some reason the 18 month old really loves the theme song, so when he gets upset while in the car (which is often), we’ll play a YouTube video that plays the song over and over again. Shoutout to whomever made that video!
Today our youngest turned one year old. He and I are often outside together like in this picture because it’s what makes him feel better when he’s upset. Walking around while holding him will get tougher as he grows and begins to walk, so I’m trying my best to cherish these moments before he goes off to make shadows of his own.
Raffi. His greatest hits have been on heavy rotation as it seems to be the only music that calms down our 8 month old when he’s upset, which is often.
Hamster maze videos on YouTube. The 4 year old is delighted by these. Random but could be a lot worse.
Who Smarted? A fun and educational podcast for kids about all kinds of topics.
Toniebox. As audio players for kids go, we’ve hitherto been a hardcore Yoto family. But several characters the 4 year old loves are only available as Tonies (Wild Kratts among them), so he got several for Christmas. It’s nice to have more variety for listening, even if the overall experience is less ideal than Yoto.
Mr. Men and Little Miss. The 4 year old has been on a kick with this book series. We own an old copy of Little Miss Scatterbrain but we got more of them from the library and he just loves them. He especially loves looking at the grid of characters on the back covers and asking us what each of their names are.
The overwhelming and overarching fact of my life this year was welcoming a second child in May. We’ve been living in the wake of that event ever since, for better (cuteness, brother silliness) or worse (his reflux and terrible sleep).
On the professional front:
In January my job got reduced to half time with a day’s notice, so…
I had to pick up a second, full-time job to stay afloat. Worked not-great hours between both jobs for about two months, until…
My original job went back to full time. However…
After that experience I started looking hard for different job, and…
Finally got one, which I started in June and am very happy at.
Enjoyed hangout times with friends and family
Saw a shooting star at one of said hangout times
Saw the Okee Dokee Brothers at Ravinia, and were first in line to get a vinyl signed and picture with the Bros
Many visits to the children’s museum and local pools
Went to a carnival and did a spinny ride for the first time
Took him to his first minor league baseball game and on the way out one of the parking attendants gave him a foul ball that had been hit out of the stadium
Did Halloween trick-or-treating in the snow with a fussy infant in tow but still managed to have a good time
Got an electronic adjustable desk for my home office so I can work standing up or sitting down
Read 15 books and watched 102 new movies
Watched some good TV (Quarterback and Emergency NYC on Netflix) and great TV (The Bear)
Added more quality discs to my collection, including the Back to the Future trilogy on Blu-ray, a Babylon SteelBook, and Criterion Blu-rays of Malcolm X, Summer Hours, Inside Llewyn Davis, and Sound of Metal