I am an equine veterinarian – have practiced solely in stables, in plain view of all in the horse industry. I am a household name among the horse people in my community. This job requires the highest
degree of extroversion that I can imagine. The horse industry in this country is very dynamic and competitive. It is a small community where no secrets are kept, and in this community the veterinarians work in a glass house. Horse people love their animals, and they love to talk about them.
In general I think they appreciate vets and like to welcome them into their social circle.

I appreciate my clients and their kindness, respect and consideration for me, but I am very introverted. I must be talkative and interactive in my profession so as to give the animals the best care – after all- the owners must know and trust me enough to follow my direction. Actually, I like my clients and enjoy working with them.

This is the hard part.
I am in the profession that everyone wanted to “be” as a kid.
So I get a lot of attention socially and at work about this, and
it is overstimulating. I do not care much for lots of social interaction, and feel like a target for it because of what I do. I get asked by many kind, well-meaning clients, who want my company, to go to dinner, art events in town, on trail rides, to horse shows, etc etc – which leads to more of the same – I always politely decline, because I am introverted and would rather be with my small circle of old friends, my family, and my animals. Those events are like more work for me.
While I am proud to be a vet, I don’t like to make it the center of conversation at social events. Parties with those who just found out what I do are the worst for me– oh, you’re a vet, I wanted to be a vet, I heard its hard to get in to vet school, have you read the James Herriott books – and by this time I am embarrassed and emotionally exhausted because of all of the attention. Everyone asks what everyone does in this country – we are about what we do – the problem is that I get extra extra attention for it, and it makes me uncomfortable. At parties I put on my game face, stay a while and retreat, with relief, back to my home.

The worst part is my cell phone. Clients have it available for an emergency, and the message says specifically that the line is only for that purpose. Clients frequently leave non-emergency messages, even at night and on the weekends, with the preface “I know your message says emergencies only, but… – and its never urgent – often it is a social call or a message that could have been left on my email or office line. My cell phone is my worst enemy – I am
on alert, right along with the rest of the world, to be an instant extrovert.

I started dreaming about being a vet at age 7. After 8 years of school I have been practicing 22 years. I decided to stop taking new clients and have individually contacted the people who use my cell for non-urgent matters. It has been very difficult because some have not been supportive.
But it has not been as difficult as the realization that I have teenagers who would have had a better mother if she had been truer to herself earlier in their lives.

I send this letter with both trepidation and relief. If you are a client and stumble across this, please know that it is not personal – I simply have to move closer to my own truth.

I am not a veterinarian. That is just what I do for a living. Unless there is an emergency that I am responsible for, I like to leave it all behind after work hours.
I think most of society does not understand this. It comforts me to think that some one here might.