Chad Comello

  • Rockin’ Guat 2009: Episode 7

    DRAMAS, DISEASE, AND (TERRENTIAL) DOWNPOUR

    Hey readers, sorry for the lack of updating. I have caught some form of sickness and was too weary. I’m still sick with some diarrhea and aching, but hopefully it will pass.

    We have had a pretty cool last few days. We’ve been working with a middle school/high school group from Charleston, South Carolina, in visiting some villages, building homes, and hanging out with the kids. Since the kids tag along with us wherever we go, we share our lunches with them. The group has also performed some dramas and Hector does the teaching.

    A word about Hector: he received a calling from God to serve the needy kids in the very poor villages around Guatemala, so he works tirelessly every day leading mission trips and making sure everything that needs to get done gets done. It’s a very hard life–added to that a strange skin infection that makes him allergic to the sun. He needs all the prayers he can get because his job is a demanding one but an important one.

    That said, it’s been raining every day here pretty hard as it is the rainy season. The many mountains that we drive around every day are quite green.

    I’m still really tired from being sick and riding in bumpy vans all day, so I’m sorry if this post lacks the depth or wit I’ve used before. Hopefully I will get better soon. Until then, ¡hasta luego!

    Next time: (hopefully) full recovery, and attending a large music festival in Guate.

  • Rockin’ Guat 2009: Episode 6

    CUTE KIDS, CLOTHES, AND CANCIONES

    Hola, readers! We’ve had a pretty cool last few days.

    Yesterday we had lunch with Juan Carlos’ family after church. His brother, Alejandro, is the lead singer of the Guatemalan Christian band Vertical. Apparently they’re the Guatemalan equivalent of the Newsboys or something like that. We ate Domino’s pizza and ice cream. Ah, fatty foods.

    After lunch we went down to Chiquimullia and stayed with our friends Denis and Alvira overnight. They run a camp-like ministry for the kids in that area, so today we visited a village and did a program for them. The theme that Denis and Alvira are doing now is obedience, so Elise and I helped them in different skits and games and songs that involved that theme. We got pictures but I can’t put them up now. Don’t worry, though, they’re full of hilarity.

    While we did the presentation, mom and Jeanette talked to the village midwives. You could hardly call them midwives officially, though, because the only reason they had that title was because they had had children before and would theoretically know something about the birthing process. It was dismaying, then, for mom to find out how much they didn’t know. Apparently lots of moms feed their newborn babies coffee, olive oil, honey, and soda among other things. It’s why malnutrition is so widespread down here.

    Regardless, the midwives were really curious and asked a lot of questions. Meanwhile, Elise and I along with Denis and Alvira handed out clothes, shoes, and toys to the kids. It was humbling to see barefooted kids receive what may have been their first pair of shoes. One little boy–no more than 2–was waiting silently as the other kids scrambled for toys. He just looked up blankfaced at Elise, but when she gave him a little beanie baby, he smiled and started to show off his toy to others, including mom.

    We’ll be seeing lots more situations like that because Elise and I are staying with Denis and Alvira for two weeks sometime this summer. Which will be interesting because they speak zero English. Talk about immersion.  They have a really cool house, though, which you’ll see once we can upload pictures again.

    Until then, ¡hasta luego!

    Next time: meeting the famous Hector, and doing some good old fashioned labor.

  • Rockin’ Guat 2009: Episode 5

    SUSHI, SHOPPING, AND SURPRISES

    Today we visited a local indoor market in the city. It was full of trinkets and clothes and fresh food and lots of people. Since it was indoors all the vendors are packed in like sardines, so claustrophobes may have a tough time. Still, it’s an adventure in itself to walk around and bargain down prices. When you pass a vendor most likely they will say something like “Very good price for you, special discount.” You have to get used to saying “No gracias” and keep walking.

    I didn’t buy anything today, but mom did. Things are much cheaper here than in Antigua, which is full of tourists. If you have any special requests for items you want from Guatemala, let me know and I’ll see what we can do.

    After the going to the market, we went to the downtown mall. Talk about yin and yang. It felt strange going from a dank basement filled with handmade products made by families just trying to get by to a shiny, fast food-filled box with lots of affectionate teenagers groping each other and drinking lattes from & Cafe. Jeanette told us that only about the wealthiest 2 percent of Guatemala shop at the malls like the one we went to. The income disparity in America is startling, but it’s nothing like that in Guate.

    That's Jeanette on the left. Elise is center and mom is at right.
    Preparing the donations. That’s Jeanette on the left. Elise is center and mom is at right.

    We headed home and prepared the donated clothes and toys that we’re going to give the kids in the villages this week. A lot of the clothes and shoes are in really bad shape, but the kids who will be receiving them have next to nothing, so to them they will be brand new. Some have never even owned a pair of shoes. It will be quite the experience to minister to these kids.

    Jeanette prepared yet another fabulous dinner. Tonight was sushi with shrimp. I’ve never had sushi before, so it seems strange that I’ll be having my first one in Central America. We’ve been doing a lot of touristy things anyway, so I guess it doesn’t matter.

    Makin' suuuushiiiii....
    Makin’ suuuushiiiii….

    Jeanette has been quite the entertainment for us here. She likes to make random noises and faces. It’s best when she’s tired because she becomes really slap-happy. My favorite line of hers so far was when she was talking about her beloved coffee maker. “If you break this,” she tells me, “you’re going to pay…with pain.”

    Anyway, tomorrow we’re heading to Chiquimulilla to meet with our future host family and Hector, the guy who does the kids ministry in the villages. Then we’ll be off to Antigua for the week, before coming back here on Friday to help with a huge concert event at Jeanette and Juan Carlos’ church. I’m not sure we’ll have an Internet connection in Chiqui, but hopefully we will in Antigua, so look for some updates in the next few days. Thanks to those of you keeping up with our adventure!

    Next time: how time slows down in Guatemala, and the Chiqui heat.

  • Rockin’ Guat 2009: Episode 4

    NICKNAMES, NOT UNDERSTANDING, AND REALLY NOT UNDERSTANDING

    Yesterday was day 2 in Guatemala City. We’ve mostly just stayed in our host family’s home preparing for last night’s event. Juan Carlos and Jeanette hosted an all-night praise and prayer session with about 10 of their neighbors and friends.

    Rellenitos. They were fried in grease, which made them extra tasty.
    Rellenitos. They’re Guatemalan grease balls of goodness.

    Jeanette prepared a humble feast of authentic Guatemalan tostadas made with fresh guacamole, salsa, onions and parsley. Elise and I helped make rellenitos, an indigenous dessert made of plantains, black beans, sugar, and cinnamon.

    After dinner, we played a quick icebreaker game that helped to loosen things up, but once the Spanish songs started, we struggled to keep up. It was the first time I think Elise and I felt completely out of place. Jeanette translated for us as best she could, but there’s only so much she can do. Those who have traveled to Latino countries know how fast the people talk, which makes comprehension a beast. It’s like being riddled by a machine gun.

    Still, it was an interesting night. I led one song in Spanish. Luckily everyone knew it, so I didn’t have to fear screwing it up. After an extended prayer time, the night was capped off with roasted marshmallows in their fireplace and a showing of August Rush.

    In other news, I’ve got a new name. Jeanette said that when we start to visit villages and meet with kids, it might be hard for them to say my name because the “a” in Chad is pronounced “ah” in Spanish. So Jeanette has christened me Chacho—a common name here that is short for Eduardo.

    When last night’s visitors learned this, one of them quickly rechristened me “Chacho Libre” like the film Nacho Libre. And the name stuck. So from now on, Chacho and Chacho Libre have been added to the list of nicknames I already have. I suppose I should try to find a cape and mask like Jack Black. Also, Elise has become “Elisa.” But my name is way cooler.

    Speaking of cooler, it’s the rainy season here in Guate, so we’ve been holding steady in the 70s with spots of rain every day. Guatemala City rests at 5,500 feet above sea level, so it’s naturally cooler here in the mountains that closer to the coasts. When we visit Chiquimalia, which is a few hours south, temperature can break past 100 degrees. So we’re enjoying not sweating right now.

    Today we’re venturing into the city market. It’s always fun bartering with the vendors. We’ll be sure to get some pictures of that.

    Next time: how to survive a chaotic market, and buying random things just because you can.

  • Rockin’ Guat 2009: Episode 3

    PAN DULCE, (UN)PACKING, AND PELICULAS

    Estamos en Guatemala! But it took a long time to get here. We had to wake up at 3:30am for a 6am flight. Luckily we had a friend in Chicago who was willing to drive us to O’Hare at that time. Our whole reason for the early flight time was to avoid the lines and save money; we saved lots of money but met lots of lines. Apparently our strategy was not unique. We saw at least three different high school groups in brightly colored t-shirts, probably on mission trips. Oh, the good old days when adult chaperones took care of all the busy work that travel requires.

    After a connection in Fort Lauderdale, we finally made it to Guatemala City, where mom and our local friend Jeanette were there to pick us up. It’s a surreal thing arriving at the Guatemala City airport. Outside the doors hoardes of locals wait for their loved ones. We had to walk through the crowd as the only gringos in sight. Driving through the city, the cultural immersion takes effect immediately. The city rests in a beautiful verdant valley, so as we wind around curvy mountainside roads we pass beautiful homes in gated communities and then makeshift huts of corrugated tin and found trash. This is Guatemala.

    The view from our homestay.
    The view from our homestay.

    But we won’t be able to start serving until next week. Right now we’re just settling in and enjoying some downtime. The house we’re staying in right now is very nice. Definitely not like what rural houses look like.

    Some important things that one discovers while living in Guatemala:

    1. You can’t drink the water. Only severe diarrhea and upset stomach await those foreigners who drink the water or eat any of the food that is not processed, cooked, or boiled. This means no brushing teeth from the tap, no buying vegetables or watered fruit from the market, and extreme caution when taking a shower. Which leads to lesson #2…
    2. Depending on where you’re staying, you may have to take a bucket shower. Music festival goers may know what I’m talking about. I took one just this morning since our house is currently lacking hot water. All you do is boil some water on the stove, put it in a bucket, bring it in the shower, scoop the water with a cup, and go to town. I’ve learned that all you really need to clean is your head and your arms and you feel clean. But getting the other essentials, especially by pouring hot water on them, is an adventure in itself.
    3. You can’t put the toilet paper down the toilet. The plumbing in Guate is not very good, so no paper products are allowed. There are waste baskets next to every toilet, so after you wipe you toss it in the basket. Talk about culture shock.
    4. Most people are really friendly here, which means that when you enter a room, you give a cheek-kiss as a greeting, even to perfect strangers. This happened today when we visiting a local water birth clinic. Some clients came in as we were talking to the nurse and just jumped right in with kisses. It’s as automatic as a handshake. Again, something that will need some getting used to.

    After I hit up the ATM for some cashola (the currency down here is the quetzal–which is also the national bird–and the current exchange rate is 8 quetzales to one dollar. In other words, very favorable), Elise, Mom, Jeanette, her husband JuanCarlos, I went to see Up in the theater here — in Spanish. I was curious to see how the movie would hold up in another language and was relieved to find out that the storytelling survives beyond the language barrier. Cheers to Pixar for that.

    Pan dulce. The greatest thing in the world.
    Pan dulce. The greatest thing in the world.

    We had some pan dulce (sweet bread) at dinner tonight, which so far has been the highlight of my stay (alumni from my last Guatemala trip know what I’m talking about). Tomorrow night from 6pm to 6am our host family is hosting an all-night worship session for a local group. Jeanette is bringing a guitar on which I can play my newly learned Spanish songs. More on that later.

    Next time: playing Spanish songs and pulling an all-nighter?

  • Rockin’ Guat 2009: Episode 2

    TARGET RUNS, TIGHT FITS, AND TOOTHPASTE

    Our bus to O’Hare leaves tomorrow from the Memorial Union at 11:30am, so tonight was Pack Night. I’ve got my trusty small blue backpack for a carry-on as well as my Eagle Creek Hovercraft 22, which is really a suitcase but is small enough to be a carry-on — super sweet. All my family members have one. I’d highly recommend it to anyone looking for a spacious suitcase that can be used for anything from weekend getaways to drug cartels–I mean…flower carriers.

    Today I’ve been to and from places more often than not: a few trips to Target for gifts for our homestay families, clothes, accessories, etc.; to Best Buy for one accessory Target did not have (I know, how is that possible?); to the library to get some last minute CDs to add to my iPod (Josh Ritter is a must-have for any music lover); and later tonight to Walmart for some returns and ponchos. Sorry for the carbon emissions, Al Gore.

    A few of my parents’ friends came over tonight to help with packing. They were in Guatemala with my mom last January, so they were a great help with packing tips and weighing the checked baggage and tips for life in the Guat. We’ve got bags full of travel-size toothpaste we’re going to donate to the kids there, but they were all in boxes which was hindering our packing abilities. So they all gathered around to unpack the hundreds of bottles of toothpaste from their boxes.

    It was a tedious job, but I was struck at the sight of a bunch of people doing this boring task simply because they wanted to serve in some way. They wouldn’t be seeing the kids that will receive the toothpaste, but they helped anyway. I hope the whole trip will be full of blessings like this.

    But after a few loads of laundry and some arduous strain, we finally got the bags zipped up and ready to go. We’ve got one checked bag (which my family has dubbed “Bagasaurus”) full of donations: medication, hats, toothpaste, a soccer ball and pump, medical equipment, a camera, and anything else my sister and I will part with at the end of our journey. It’s about 47 lbs. — three shy of the limit. Thinking of the shoulder pain that I will experience on my trip down to Guatemala, I’m reminded of lyrics from the Beatles’ “Carry That Weight”:

    Boy, you’re gonna carry that weight / Carry that weight for a long time.

    Thanks for reminding me, Paul.

    On the next episode of ROCKIN’ THE GUAT 2009: 4am wake-up calls and dealing with Customs.

  • Rockin’ Guat 2009: Episode 1

    TWEETY BIRD, TYPHOID, AND ‘TE ALABARE’

    I’m going to Guatemala this summer with my sister Elise and my mom. My mom has been down there already for weeks now, having led a group of nursing students from Edgewood College on a mission trip to Guatemalan clinics and hospitals. Elise went down to the Guat in January with another one of mom’s groups and decided she wanted to go back to volunteer and become fluent in Spanish.

    I decided to go because, having been to Guatemala five years ago on a high school mission trip, I knew there was lots of stuff to do in terms of volunteer and missions work. I didn’t know I was going until a few weeks ago. I was planning on working at Lake Waubesa Bible Camp again having worked there for three summers in a row and loving every second of it, but I thought it would be good to change things up a bit.

    So today we’re T-minus three days away from arrival in Guatemala. My dad bought me some killer hiking shoes from The Shoe Box and some lightweight, easy-to-dry shirts and pants from REI. We’ll be packing light since my mom, who has been down in Guatemala for weeks now, has stashed lots of mini detergeant bottles so we can wash our clothes once in a while. Of course, “packing light” means something completely different to my sister, who will no doubt have trouble fitting all of her “essentials” into two carry-ons.

    I picked up some medications for malaria and diarrhea and got a typhoid booster shot with a Tweety Bird bandage. When I first saw it I thought, What am I, six? Then I realized Tweety Bird is awesome.

    My primary role this summer will probably be with kids ministry. Hector, one of my mom’s Guatemalan contacts, goes around to rural villages and performs for the kids and does meal ministry for hungry kids and stuff like that. I’m hoping to be able to go with him and serve the very needy kids there as much as I can, so I’ve got to get some songs and games ready just in case.

    I’ve been trying to memorize some Spanish worship songs to play. I remember two from my last trip to the Guat: “Casa de Dios” (which is the Spanish equivalent to “Better is One Day”) and “Te Alabare.” I’ve also learned “Abre Mis Ojos” ( same as “Open the Eyes of My Heart”) and “Vengo a Adorarte” (same as “Here I am to Worship”).

    A game I learned in Guatemala five years ago is called “Malaki Tengue” and it’s great because, since the title is just gibberish, it can be played with kids in any language. So: get the kids in a circle and start walking around and say: “Malaki tengue tengue tengue, malaki tengue tengue tengue, malaki tengue tengue, malaki TEN!” And on TEN, stop and point at a kid. They make some sort of funny face or motion and then the whole group mimics that motion or face as they say the words and start walking.

    The best is when you get a shy kid. When you point at them they try to hide their face in their shoulder, so you just take the same position and continue. You can play that game forever.

    Anyway, it should be good times whatever happens. I’ll most likely be gone until mid-August until I have to come back for RA training at North Central. I have something resembling an itinerary for the trip, but really I have no idea what I will be doing, which is exactly what want — to be able to do whatever is needed and whatever what I want. In the least selfish way, of course.

    Next time: packing fun and how to entertain children in foreign languages.

  • You Should See ‘Up’ Right Now

    up_movie

    Yeah, it’s good. Great, even. It’ll be another hit for Pixar, and deservedly so.

    I thought making a movie about a rat in a kitchen would be a tough sell, but alas, they made Ratatouille.

    Then came a largely dialogue-less movie about a robot stuck on a trash-riddled Earth in the future. Wall-E was the best movie of last year.

    And now Up, a story about a lonely old man who travels to South America in his balloon-rigged house with a precocious boy. It’s at times funny, hilarious, exciting, and heart breaking in the most uplifting way.

    You should see Up. Right now.

  • Rumsfeld’s Biblified Briefings

    Last week, GQ magazine reported that the top secret intelligence briefings that were sent to President Bush by the Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld during the run-up to the Iraq War in 2003 were often adorned with inspirational Bible verses and images meant to influence the president, who is a self-described Christian and often liked the conflict in Iraq to a modern day “crusade.”

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    A few examples of these briefings:

    • March 17, 2003. A picture of two American soldiers topped with the verse Isaiah 6:8, which says, “Whom shall I send, and who will go for us? Here I am, Lord, send me!”
    • April 7, 2003. A picture of Saddam Hussein topped with the verse 1 Peter 2:15, which says, “It is God’s will that by doing good you should silence the ignorant talk of foolish men.”
    • April 8, 2003. A picture of American tanks driving underneath two large crossed swords topped with the verse Isaiah 26:2, which says, “Open the gates that the righteous nation may enter, The nation that keeps faith.”

    Bush was completely open about the impact of his Christian faith on the decisions in his presidency, and Rumsfeld was a grossly incompetent defense secretary, so I can’t say I was surprised when I heard about this.

    Yet I don’t know which part of me is more outraged: the Christian or the American.

    Rumsfeld might not have personally put the verses on the briefings. Odds are, according to GQ, it was Maj. Gen. Glen Shaffer, a director for intelligence who served both Rumsfeld and the Joint Chiefs of Staff. But that point is moot; the nation’s highest military officer wielded strong religious rhetoric in order to push a country into war. I don’t know what could be more irresponsible.

    “Defense department staff were privately worried,” GQ reports, “that if the briefings with biblical quotes on them had ever been made public, the fallout would have been ‘as bad as [the revelations of prisoner abuse at] Abu Ghraib.’” Time will tell if the public takes as much umbrage at these revelations as it did with the Abu Ghraib scandal. My guess is that it won’t, because the majority of religious Americans identify themselves as Christians.

    Yet why does this anger me so? Perhaps because Rumsfeld, a nonreligious man, cynically used Christian scripture to manipulate a man who had seemingly already made up his mind to invade Iraq and “stay the course.” Hey Rummy, ever heard about those silly little medieval crusades the European Christian church undertook against the Muslims? Yeah, they don’t look so hot in the history books.

    The release of these documents came at an inopportune time for Dick Cheney, the former vice president, who was out on a media blitz trying to defend his legacy. But it’s not like the current opinion of the Bush administration could get any more tarnished than it is. That’s why I don’t think this will be as big a scandal as the others. The public—myself and the current president included—has tried to move on from Bush and Rumsfeld and the Holy War.

    These documents are but another stack in the “That Figures” box.

  • Twilight Bites: How Dazzling Vampires Distort Masculinity

    Published in the North Central Chronicle on April 24, 2009.

    Let’s pretend I’m a teenage girl and that you’re my best friend. I’ve just told you about this guy I started dating. He’s perfect in every way, I say. He stares at me while I sleep, he alienates me from my friends and, among other things, he drives a wedge between me and my single dad.

    Wait…what?

    Oh, you mean that those aren’t actually good things? Edward Cullen, the lead vampire from Twilight, does all of those things to Bella, the main character in the film, and yet women swoon over him. Why?

    T-09126.jpg

    Let’s start with the superficial. The novel describes Edward as “impossibly beautiful,” his body as hard and cold as marble. He’s impossibly smart too: he plays and composes classical music and has two degrees from Harvard. And, like any good bad boy, he drives really, really nice cars really, really fast.

    Bella goes on and on about how mysterious and seducing and perfect he is. But once they actually get together, she wholeheartedly submits herself to his every whim. The fact that Edward can read people’s minds (though not Bella’s for some reason-presumably because she doesn’t really have that much going on up there) shows that he is all about control. This becomes evident as the two grow closer;they become inseparable (though not in the cute way), and when a rival vampire clan jeopardizes Bella’s life, Edward tells her to abandon her sweet, thoughtful and lonely dad to skip town. Bella was indeed in danger, but Edward didn’t have to force her to blow off her dad.

    What makes me cringe more than the film’s lessons is the viewer response to them. We talk so much about how pornography and advertising and television are giving young girls unrealistic expectations about body image and relationships, but what about crazes for a novel that promotes the suppression of self-confidence and identity and creates a steamy hero out of a cold and brooding vampire?

    My sisters are obsessed with the series; one so much so that she read one of the books in church, hiding it in the hymnal she was supposed to be using. And she’s not alone. Fan groups and forums have sprung up all over the place with readers confessing their undying love and unhealthy addiction for Edward and the vampire saga. On one such site called “Twilight Moms,” a poster admitted: “I have no desires to be part of the real world right now. Nothing I was doing before holds any interest to me.”

    Granted, it’s not just vampire romance novels that can pull people in so seductively. But the fact that some women may expect, if only secretly, that their boyfriend or husband will start acting like Edward is alarming and wholly unfair. It’s like when a man expects his girlfriend or wife to perform like a porn star in bed. Pornography is not real sex, and Edward is not a real man.

    I don’t want to completely destroy what many women see as an ideal man. It’s good for men to look out for what is best for their significant other. But I still struggle with the thought of trying to become someone like Edward Cullen, because he’s really not someone any man should want to be, or any woman should want to love.

    A blogger at Salon.com summed up well the lesson being told to young men through the movie:

    “Don’t be fun, thoughtful, quirky or smart if you want to get the girl. Be a d—. But be a d— who can stop cars with your bare hands.  And look depressed. But be good looking while you’re depressed. And express your desire to be with the girl of your dreams but be vague about why you can’t be with her. Confuse her, make her crazy, change your moods by the hour and make sure your hair looks like Johnny Depp in the mid-90s.”

    I don’t have two Harvard degrees or chiseled, marble-like features. I don’t drive sports cars or live in a mansion. I don’t have immortal life or superhuman strength. What does that mean for me? If I want to be in a relationship with a girl but I know that when she thinks of the “perfect man” she thinks of Edward Cullen, I lose. Because I am impossibly imperfect.

    But who isn’t? That’s why unrealistic expectations, even if they are gleaned from fiction, are so destructive: they don’t allow us to be real, to be human.

    But then, Edward Cullen isn’t human. He’s a vampire. So, ladies, dream away, I guess. But when you wake up, don’t tell me what you dreamt about. I have a feeling I will be sorely disappointed.

  • Why I Love The Midwest

    Originally printed in the North Central Chronicle on April 3, 2009.

    A friend of mine grew up with the California itch. Her family was from San Francisco but she was stuck in Wisconsin for most of her life. She always complained about it and talk about wanting to be an actress and live the life in Hollywood, get out of the Midwest and all that.

    She eventually went to college in Los Angeles. But after a few years there she became disillusioned with the West Coast life for some reason. I thought nothing but a family reunion every decade would bring her back to the Midwest, but now she says she is coming home after graduation.

    What brought her back? Maybe it was the bratwurst and quality beer. Midwesterners know how to eat and drink, that’s for sure. Maybe it was the sports teams. God knows the Packers are way cooler than the San Diego Chargers.

    I don’t know exactly, but my point is we have a great thing going here in the Midwest. It’s hard to appreciate this when, if you’re like me, you have lived here your whole life. But we have seasons. Actual seasons. Californians don’t know the meaning of the word. All they get are sun and 70s. Some of you think that’s the perfect kind of weather. But when you get that all day, every day, it gets boring. You start thinking you’re entitled to perfect weather. Maybe that’s why West Coasters get that stereotype of entitlement.

    Right now we are starting to enjoy the fruits of spring. There will be green grass and flowers and rebirth and sun. We get thunderstorms, baby rabbits, and puddles in which we can gleefully splash. Then summer will come with its freedom and fun and humidity and even more sun. Summer is a great season, sure, but our version doesn’t distinguish us from the rest of the world. Summer then leads us to autumn, the season that makes you think philosophically about life and death and bobbing for apples while you watch the colors fall from decaying trees.

    And then, winter, the most polarizing season. The lovers love the snow, the sledding, the snowballs, and Christmas, while the haters hate the cold, the cold, and the cold. I am a self-proclaimed winter-lover. Yes, even the cold. It toughens us. It doesn’t allow us to take for granted the warmth of the summer. It makes the spring all the more beautiful after months of cold and dreariness.

    You can’t go 10 minutes without hearing someone complain about the weather here. Like the weather is the only thing stopping them from enjoying their life. When did that become the case? June and July don’t have a monopoly joy. January has a share of it too. We are just exiting winter, so I suspect the complaints will subside-for now. Another year and the yelping will come back again, just as annoying as ever.

    That’s why, amongst those who bemoan the trappings of winter, I exalt its virtues. I say I love it for all the reasons they hate it. It’s too cold, they say. All the better the warmth will feel. It’s too dreary, they say. All the brighter the sun will shine. In spite of all the bad things that are happening around us, I’m just trying to look for the good. We’re supposed to be living in the age of hope, after all.

    So come November, as the temperatures drop and your nose hairs begin to freeze, turn that frown upside down and remember that Californians will never know how it feels to walk on ice. Or how it feels to get a snowball in the face. That, my Midwest friends, is something that is reserved for us.

  • Phoebe In Wonderland

    2008-01-25-ls-wonderland1

    Being a kid today has got to be tough. Being a kid with an insatiable creative appetite and a slight case of obsessive compulsive disorder has got to be even tougher. That’s what Phoebe (played by 11-year-old Elle Fanning, Dakota’s younger sister) has to go through in Phoebe in Wonderland, the newest film from director Daniel Barnz.

    The film establishes early Phoebe’s unassailable creativity. She’s the Tortured Artist—albeit a kid version—who is alienated from her classmates for being “different” and feels confined by her school’s suppressive methods. She is even put into therapy after her OCD goes a little too far, but again becomes restless within its confines. Her home life isn’t any easier; both parents are writers who, trying to get published, struggle to find time to connect with Phoebe and their other daughter, who becomes jealous of the attention Phoebe gets because of her tendency to lash out.

    But then, a mysterious new drama teacher (Patricia Clarkson) is hired at her school and stages a production of Alice in Wonderland. Phoebe, her curiosity peaked by the teacher and the chance of living in the magical world of Wonderland for real, tries out and lands the lead over the other girls whose self entitlement contrasts clearly with Phoebe’s unassuming self confidence.

    The drama teacher, rather than simply telling the young thespians what to do, lets them do it for themselves, thereby giving them the power they lack in the classroom. Phoebe thrives in this environment, letting her imagination run wild. She daydreams about dancing with characters from Alice in Wonderland, which eventually gets her into some trouble—the consequences of which lay the groundwork for the rest of the film.

    This is Fanning’s first true role (she has played the younger version of her sister in a few movies and had a small part in The Curious Case of Benjamin Button) and she shines brightly in it. Her ability to look adorable while also transmitting a healthy dose of angst usually reserved for teenaged emo kids makes this film work. It doesn’t hurt that there is a strong supporting cast of adults around her: Bill Pullman and Felicity Huffman as the conflicted writer-parents create the environment in which Phoebe stews, and Patricia Clarkson offers the tender maternal love that Phoebe needs.

    Phoebe in Wonderland could be a close sibling of Danny Boyle’s whimsical child-driven fable Millions. There are lessons to be learned by both the adults and the children, but it is ultimately the children—especially Phoebe—in this film who know how to live a life worth living; one led by imagination rather than inhibition.

  • And The Oscar Goes To…

    …the most predictable Oscars ever. Every year it seems like the suspense is sucked out of the actual awards ceremony with the months of speculation and campaigning and Oscar ballots. This year, sadly, was even more predicable than previous ones because of the incessant and overrated Slumdog Millionaire cleaned house just as every one predicted it would.

    I’ve been bitter since the nominations were announced in January because of the stunning omission of Wall-E from the Best Picture race. Logically, the best reviewed film of the year would at least be in the running for the category that supposedly recognizes the best film of the year. But instead, we’re forced to suffer through preening “issue” movies like Frost/Nixon and The Reader.

    No one was talking about those movies this year. Even The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, leading the pack with 13 nominations, was pretty much not a contender for the major awards.

    I’ve written about the Academy’s bald-faced bias against animated movies here before, so I won’t wax on about that again. But this year’s Oscar ceremony, despite a great performance by Hugh Jackman, was not fun to watch because I knew that the best film wasn’t there.

    Also, they must never do the “5 past nominees talk about this year’s nominees for 15 minutes” thing ever again. I liked having the narrative flow between the awards and such, but trim that dross out next year and the ceremony may actually be done in three hours.

    Anyway, I’m so glad Slumdog Millionaire will finally go away. Maybe I’ll watch Wall-E again to cheer me up. Lord knows that robot has more going for him than anything else this year.

  • Oh, Oscars, How Do I Loathe Thee?

    Published in the North Central Chronicle on January 30, 2009.

    Let me count the ways…

    1. You want normal people to like you, but you fail to acknowledge what people like.

    In the past, you’ve been excused from this because most of the time the highest grossing film of year wasn’t worthy of awards. But this year is different. The Dark Knight and Wall-E dominated the box office and landed on many top 10 lists. What better combination can there be for awards season? The ratings for the awards ceremony have steadily decline to half the viewers since 1998; giving due props to the high quality popular films would have boosted viewership and proved that Hollywood isn’t always out of touch.

    Instead, you’ve acknowledged films that barely anyone except film critics has seen. I know that most of the time, the smaller films are better than the box office winners so they deserve to win awards, but this was the year that broke that pattern. Instead of taking the chance to try something new, you stick with what works but isn’t very exciting.

    2. Year after year the studios throw out mediocre Oscar bait like “The Reader” yet you still bite, hook, line, and sinker.

    Ricky Gervais was right when told perennial nominee Kate Winslet at the Golden Globes, “I told you; do a Holocaust movie and the awards start coming.” Everybody knows which movies are being made simply because they have at least one ingredient in the magical formula guaranteed to clean up at the Oscars: angst, lots of yelling, Meryl Streep, or the Holocaust.

    But I get it: it’s all about politics. The Reader got in because of the legendary influence of Hollywood heavyweight producers Bob and Harvey Weinstein (the same men who helped Shakespeare in Love upset Saving Private Ryan for Best Picture back in 1998). It’s not the quality of the film but the quality of the film’s PR that matters in the end. That is ultimately what is exacerbating the problem with how the Academy Awards are run, but I don’t foresee this changing any time soon.

    3. You hate animated movies.

    I don’t really know why. Maybe you’re afraid that nominating a film like Wall-E because you feel threatened by anything that doesn’t require overpaid humans to do the work. Or maybe you just don’t understand yet that animation is not a genre but simply another way to tell a story. Whatever the reason, you didn’t do animated films a favor by creating a separate category for them; you’re ghettoizing them. You’re saying animated movies do not equal real movies, even when the best reviewed film of the year is a great romantic science fiction adventure film that happens to be animated.

    4. You never award people at the right time.

    We’ve seen this countless times: an actor or actress or director winning for a film because it was viewed as more of a reward for their body of work rather than an award for that specific performance. Martin Scorsese winning in 2006 for The Departed is an example. Kate Winslet, the youngest actress to get six nominations, will probably win this year for The Reader because voters feel she is owed for having been snubbed before. This practice causes others who actually deserve to win, like Sally Hawkins for Happy-Go-Lucky, to get robbed.

    5. For being such a politically liberal town, you get really conservative during award season.

    This, too, has a storied history. The so-so Crash won over the heavily favored, gay themed and superior picture Brokeback Mountain in 2005 because it was the safer pick. This year, The Reader, Frost/Nixon, and Slumdog Millionaire — historical or quasi-historical film with obvious messages — are up for the big awards instead of The Dark Knight and Wall-E, two films with powerful political and social commentary that liberals would ordinarily embrace in real life. For being the year for change, Hollywood has failed to change any of their award season habits.

    In spite of my complaining, I still appreciate it when the Oscars showcase the art house pictures that don’t make hundreds of millions at the box office. There are a lot of well made films out there that wouldn’t be seen without the buzz that starts at the film festivals and carries them through awards season.

    Still, the Academy needs to do a better job of rewarding art when it deserves it. The Reader doesn’t deserve it. In 10 years no one will remember it. Wall-E, however, will live on for a long time. It’s just a matter of whether the Academy wanted to live on with it. Apparently, they didn’t care that much.

  • The President Of My Youth

    I remember just a few things from the Clinton ’90s: Kosovo, Elian Gonzalez, and impeachment mostly. But most of the decade flew by under my radar as I concerned myself with more important things like the world champion Green Bay Packers and what colors I wanted for my braces. It was seventh grade when I finally paid attention to something that adults cared about: the 2000 election.

    My social studies teacher, like every other at the time, had us involved with the election. We learned who the candidates were, what the Electoral College was, and how many votes you needed to win. My friend Ryan and I made up nicknames for the candidates: “Gush” and “Bore” were the favorites. We even got to “vote” on Election Day in our very own school-wide election. As my classmates voted I acted like a TV journalist gathering exit polls which I reported to my teacher. Then, I went into the booth and voted for George W. Bush.

    It has been a little over eight years since that day. Times have changed and so has my vote; it went for Obama this year. Yet as I watch our 43rd president fade away into the background, I have mixed emotions. Sure, the country has gone to a tame version of hell, but my last eight years of life (my entire adolescence) were never without Bush in the White House. And in that time, I’ve gone through a plethora of feelings about the man.

    First was apathy. I remember the 2000 election debacle vividly because my name was in the news every night thanks to those old voters in Dade County who couldn’t manage to push a paper dot hard enough. But once it was decided, I didn’t really care. Even after the terrorist attacks and Bush’s subsequent popularity surge, I was too young for him to make an impact on me.

    In the meantime, everything bad happened: Katrina, the Iraq debacle, Guantanamo Bay, the Abu Ghraib scandal, Alberto Gonzales. Then the 2006 midterm elections went for the Democrats and I started to pay attention. I began to lean left. (Living in the ultraliberal Madison, Wis., certainly helped.) I read the Huffington Post and watched Keith Olbermann a lot, relying too heavily on their liberal outrage to dictate my political beliefs.

    Their opinion of Bush was becoming mine too: I became increasingly convinced he was a scheming far right hawk hell-bent on jailing all dissenters and propagating through Fox News, all the while fleecing Middle America and laughing while major cities flooded and foreign countries burned. Arianna Huffington and Keith Olbermann continue to think this and said so throughout the 2008 election. It helped get Obama elected and Bush became a lamer duck in the process.

    But ever since the election, my righteous anger has settled. I now think Bush is not evil but flawed, a tad misunderstood and, dare I say it, underappreciated. Sure, his “Bring it on” braggadocio and “Mission Accomplished” banner were mistakes. He dropped the ball post-Katrina and did not speak candidly about Iraq and WMD. His No Child Left Behind Act was misguided and his economic policies exacerbated an already growing problem.

    Yet, despite all that, I don’t hate him. There was a time when I would have refused to shake his hand if I met him simply because of our differing political views, but I’ve moved on from that. Perhaps it’s pity, seeing him roundly crucified by the left for his mistakes large and small. Perhaps it’s because of our common Christian faith. Perhaps it’s because I’m beginning to get annoyed with liberals.

    If I were to meet not George Bush the president but George Bush the father and family man, I think I would really like him. He’s a laid-back straight shooter who probably holds a conversation at a barbeque much better than he does at a press conference. He obviously doesn’t take himself too seriously and can withstand a brutal bombardment of criticism much better than most.

    “George Walker Bush is not a stupid or a bad man,” writes Ron Suskind in Esquire. “But in his conduct as president, he behaved stupidly and badly.”

    Because he behaved stupidly and badly, Bush will leave with comically low approval ratings. He has said repeatedly that history will hold his unpopular acts in higher regard than they are today. He’s right, to an extent. Presidents Lincoln and Truman made grave and consequential decisions that ended the Civil War and World War II, respectively. Bush is no Lincoln (far from him) but both men stuck to their guns. Bush has always stuck to his guns, no matter what. Even when things got bad, he “stayed the course.” It was simultaneously honorable and maddening.

    History in fact will reveal if he was right to do so, but judgments of Bush cannot be written today with a clear head. The old wounds are still fresh and the animosity still potent.

    Now we’ve got a new president to love or loathe. Let us learn from the last eight years to separate the man from the mission. Obama, like Bush, is a good man who will have to make tough decisions and live with the consequences forever. If we can discern the policy from the personal, I think we will all have fairer views of the people who take on the toughest job in the world.

    George W. Bush may be crossing the finish line with a limp, but at least he finished the race. You’ve got to give him props for that.

  • Stranger Than Fiction

    Originally published in the North Central Chronicle on January 18, 2009, as part of a series called “Chad Picks Classic Flicks.”

    An artist may not set out to create something that changes the world, but he just might do it by mistake. Marc Forster’s 2006 film Stranger Than Fiction is a movie about fate—or “the continuity of life and the inevitability of death” as one of its character puts it—and also the consequences of breaking continuity and challenging inevitability. Stranger Than Fiction subversively wrestles with these complicated ideas while maintaining the guise of a quirky Will Ferrell vehicle. That’s why I think it’s a modern classic.

    There are really two stories going on in this movie that are hugely dependent upon each other. The core story is about author Karen Eiffel (Emma Thompson) writing another in a series of acclaimed tragedies, but due to writer’s block she can’t figure out how to kill her main character, Harold Crick.

    She has most of the story down though: Harold (Will Ferrell) is an IRS auditor living a painfully rigid and boring life. Everything in Harold’s world is simple, angular, and calculated. He can quickly compute complicated math problems in his head and count everything from the number of strokes he makes while brushing his teeth to the exact distance he is from his apartment. He has one friend that we know of, Dave, and his life is probably just as uninteresting as Harold’s. He follows this path with steadfast discipline until he meets Anna Pascal (Maggie Gyllenhaal), a beautiful bakery owner with a revolutionary’s bent, some unpaid back taxes, and a healthy scorn for the IRS and for Harold.

    This is where a glitch in the universe adds a second dimension to the story: Once he meets Anna, Harold begins to hear Eiffel’s omniscient voice narrating his thoughts and actions as she writes them in her novel. First he is confused, then annoyed, and then scared after she says Harold awaits his “imminent death.” These two stories collide in Harold’s world, jarring him out of whack for the first time.

    He tries to make sense of the voice in his head, visiting first a psychiatrist who brands him a schizophrenic, then a professor of literature (Dustin Hoffman) who decides that Harold is in fact a character in his own life story, and that he needs to figure out whether he is in a tragedy or a comedy. “In a tragedy, you die,” the professor says. “In a comedy, you get hitched.” Harold then sets off to discover this much, tallying in a notebook moments with Anna that constitute a “tragedy” or a “comedy.”

    From there it’s an unlikely courtship where the auditor falls for the audited. The story is not meant to be realistic; rather, it is a fable set in a heightened reality. Filmed in Chicago, the director created that reality by discovering angles and perceptions a skilled photographer would see, rather than a tourist hitting the hot spots. The IRS office, Harold’s apartment, and even the streets themselves are white-washed, sterile, and modern.

    Harold’s world is plain and starkly angular, whereas Anna’s is full of curves and colors. Harold gradually starts to stray from his straight and narrow path and finds liberation—this aided by his continuing quest to discover the source of the voice in his head and why he is on a path towards his death.

    The screenwriter Zach Helm says the film is ultimately about saving lives. A bold statement, to be sure, but it’s nonetheless true. The story illustrates the need for saving people from the cold grip of uniformity by giving them something to live for. After their first very unpleasant encounter, Harold falls for Anna and she unintentionally saves his life by finally giving him something to live for. Inspired by his new emancipation, he goes to the movies, he buys a guitar, and he wears jeans for probably the first time in his life. He adds color to his life.

    However, the angst created by Eiffel’s incessant voice in his head never really goes away, even after his liberation, and so his quest for understanding and peace continues until he discovers Eiffel and meets her face to face. It’s quite the moment.

    Watching this movie again reminded me of two other modern classics: Adaptation and The Truman Show. Both are stories set in a heightened reality, with men who are stuck in a groove and have the desire to get out of it but can’t. In the case of Adaptation, it is Nicolas Cage’s character’s self-loathing that prevents his personal liberation; in The Truman Show it is Truman’s own fears of the unknown and also the powerful external forces around him that try to keep him in the status quo.

    I realized having watched it many times that Stranger Than Fiction is my favorite kind of movie. It’s funny, it’s touching, but it also makes you think. It’s uplifting and philosophical, artistic and quick-witted. The cast is oddly perfect: Will Ferrell plays Harold with beautiful restraint, and Maggie Gyllenhaal provides power and tenderness when needed. Marc Forster, the director, injects the same unique flair he did in his wonderful 2004 picture Finding Neverland.

    It didn’t appear on many top 10 lists in 2006 (though I did name it as one of my favorite films of the 2000s), but I think Stranger Than Fiction will age well because of its timelessness and emotional appeal — that is, if Will Ferrell would stop phoning in such mindless ballyhoo like Semi-Pro. One can only hope.

  • Slumdog Millionaire Is Bankrupt

    On his blog LookingCloser.org, Christian film critic Jeffrey Overstreet lays out his reasons why Slumdog Millionaire didn’t tickle his fancy as it has for so many other people.

    I was pleased to see that someone shares my sentiments, however unpopular they may be.

  • Carpe 2009: My Resolutions For The New Year

    Published in the North Central Chronicle on January 9, 2009.

    New Year’s Resolutions are like Airborne pills: they don’t really work, but we use them anyway because they make us feel better about the bumpy ride ahead. I’ve never taken Airborne pills, but every January I still resolve to do something different in the New Year-exercise more, eat less fast food, be more loving towards the unlovables like Paris Hilton fans and people who wear Crocs. (I’ve gotten better at the first two, but the last one…ain’t gonna happen.)

    This year, for the sake of accountability, I’m making public each resolution I have for 2009, because you can tell your diary everything you plan on doing, but your diary won’t tell you all those Krispy Kremes have made you fall off the fat wagon again. That’s what friends and casual acquaintances are for.

    Resolution #1: Stop complaining about Kaufman.

    I know, I know. Kaufman’s food tends to…well, underperform. I’d love for the marinara sauce to not taste like lemon juice, or for the eggs to be in solid form, but it does, and they aren’t. Big deal. I don’t want to drop the whole “There are starving children in Africa” argument, but there are starving children in Africa.We all know exactly how good or how bad the food in Kaufman is, so we don’t need to keep telling each other. It’s like inmates telling each other they’re in prison. What’s the point?

    Resolution #2: Stop complaining about the campus bikes.

    While there is never a %$^&!@& campus bike when it’s $@^#$!& needed, there is no use in complaining incessantly about something I have no control over. I’ll just have to make do walking the three blocks to class. I’m sure it will be fine.

    Resolution #3: Listen to Will Smith more.

    While on the promotional tour for his film “Seven Pounds,” Will Smith doled out some really good life advice: read and run every day. Doing so will stimulate the mind and the body and make you feel like you’ve accomplished something, even on a cruel, dreary, why-do-I-live-in-the-Midwest January day. It’s easy to get the reading part out of the way when classes are in session, but the running part will take some motivation. Check out the treadmills in the Merner workout room or join a pack of cross country runners on a winding trek through the neighborhood. I’m sure they won’t mind.

    Resolution #4: Criticize the new president.

    Now that he’s elected, it’s okay to admit: Obama got a pass from the media. It helped that he was telegenic and not a Republican, but he snuck in without being bullied as much as Clinton or Palin were. But now that he’s going to be the guy in charge, we can’t let up on him just because he’s inexperienced or because of his skin color. There will be scandals and missteps and flat-out lies, so don’t be surprised if Mr. Cool is not the savior of the world as your Obamanic friends would have you believe. He is officially The Man now, and we ought to stick it to him as we have faithfully to Bush over the last eight years.

    Resolution #5: Never trust the economy.

    Sure, it will bounce back eventually, but this Armageddon of ’08 has shown me that my mattress is just about the safest place I can put money these days. My brain has about a 10-second threshold for economic matters, so when people say that the sub-prime mortgage whosey-whatsey and the dividends on the market investments yadda yadda yadda will recover, I could care less. From now on, my money will be in two places: my checking account and Noodles & Co. That’s an investment I can rely upon.

    Resolution #6: Never trust governors.

    2008 gave us the double whammy of Eliot “Emperors Club VIP” Spitzer and Rod “I Don’t Understand What A Wiretap Is” Blagojevich. Both men have sexual pun-worthy last names, they both have hair issues, and they both are really, really stupid. I mean really stupid. But while Blagojevich’s dealings were dirty, at least he didn’t drag his wife to the press conference like Spitzer did. So far, Jim Doyle, the governor of my home state of Wisconsin, has been in the clear, but I’m just waiting for the day when we learn he’s one-upped both Spitzer and Blagojevich by giving an open Senate seat to a prostitute named Cherry he slept with in the capitol building. That, my friends, would make my year.

    Resolution #7: Stop saying “awesome.”

    I don’t know who started this, but it needs to stop. “Awesome” has become the word people will associate with this decade, like “rad” of the ’90s, “groovy” of the ’70s, and “flapper” of the ’20s. I’m not saying this decade was awesome-after all, the ’90s were anything but radical-I’m just saying the word needs to stay in this decade. There are plenty of great synonyms, like “stupendous” and “fantabulous.” That last one isn’t really a word, but it’s better than awesome.