Categories
God Life Poetry

Brightest

Walking back to my dorm from chapel last night, I saw the coolest image I’ve seen in a long time. A full moon against a dark sky with the slightest shade of the darkest blue you could imagine. Clouds shaped like cotton ball clusters slid by the moon so gracefully. Coincidentally, a Copeland song called “Brightest” was playing on my iPod as I looked up at the sky. The clean, crisp night air refreshed my senses and the whole experience broke through to my soul. The moon shone so brightly that all the beautiful buildings I passed were ever so tinted with a faint light, making the moment seem all the more surreal.

It’s moments like these that prove God’s existence. He is in the colors and the sounds and the smells that invigorate us everyday. These images are always out there waiting for someone to take the time to sit back and look at them. You don’t have to go to Hawaii or the Rocky Mountains to see something spectacular. Just open your eyes a little wider than they’ve been recently and wait to see what happens.

Categories
Etc. Life

you’re coming alive to me (part 2)

Nobody likes 8-hour shifts. Especially me. Especially Peter Gibbons. But since I have to work to get earn some money, I had no choice. But today’s 8-hour shift wasn’t that bad. In fact, I sort of enjoyed it. Not because of the work I have to do or the people I have to do it with, but because of what I thought about during the shift to make it go by faster. I thought about my awesome experience this summer as a camp counselor, I thought about the awesome times I had on tour with the band, I thought about how cool a girl I like is (no I’m not telling and no I’m not dating anyone). When I thought about stuff like that, I kept smiling and having a positive attitude throughout the day. That sounds so saccharine but it totally worked. The fact that my legs were killing me and the work I was doing truly sucked didn’t phase me because I was thinking about sliding through a tunnel lined with oatmeal, mud, and old milk surrounded by dozens of screaming elementary school kids.

The point is that if you try to find something positive in every thing you do, every thing you do will become positive. Whenever I think of it, I ask God to teach me something I need to learn whether it be small and subtle or huge and obvious. A lot of times I don’t figure out exactly what I’ve learned until way after the incident. It just smacks me in the back of the head saying “Listen up you oblivious buffoon!” The things I’ve learned from these very experiences have completely rocked my world and everything I know about it. I’d highly recommend it.

Categories
Film Life Music

you’re coming alive to me

I love it when music and movies come alive. Recently I listened to Copeland’s new album, Eat, Sleep, Repeat. That album, as well as Jack’s Mannequin’s Everything In Transit, somehow opened up a new gateway into music and life for me. When I listened to them, everything else I had ever heard before that seemed stale. They completely revolutionized music for me, however hyperbolic that may sound. I was in just the right mood for the music to reach right into my soul and shake things up. I’m sure that if you are more than a casual listener to decent music you’ll know what I’m talking about. Maybe you’ve had a bad day, or bad month, and listening to a certain album just smashes a window open you didn’t know existed in your soul. I love it.

With Jack’s Mannequin, I remember my heart just throbbing and getting goosebumps while walking home from the public library. At that moment, God just came alive to me. It doesn’t even matter what kind of music you’re listening to. Each strum of the guitar was like a shock to my heart. Another time, I was listening to Sanctus Real’s The Face of Love. During that season of my life, I had been thinking a lot about love and what it really meant. Three different arenas of my life–classes, church, and music–all happened to focus specifically on this subject, which I know now wasn’t a coincidence. Listening to The Face of Love and thinking about the lyrics and how they applied to my life, it was like another jump start to my heart. My windshield had just been wiped clean and I could finally make sense of the stuff that was ahead of me.

This happens with movies as well. My sister could attest to this. In the months before our grandpa and grandma died, she was away at college and couldn’t be with them as much as she wanted. She had always been really close to them, so whenever she was getting down about it, she watched Seven Brides for Seven Brothers. I cannot vouch for the quality of the movie, but that doesn’t matter. She is emotionally bound to that film and to this day she watches it whenever she is having a bad day. We all can be moved by certain movies, whether it be because of its sadness or uplifting message. I recently watched Casablanca. I’ve only met one person who does not like/love this movie, and for good reason. I love the romance, I love the stubbornness of Rick (which I can relate to), and I love how there are so many things I can learn from it. That movie, along with a few others, lifts itself off the screen and into my heart. And sometimes, with all the crap we carry with us, that is exactly what we need.

Categories
Life Love

Desirable

This is the artistic version of the previous post. It’s a writing project I had to do for Creative Writing last year. The objective was to write a story/opinion piece/whatever in the perspective of the opposite sex. My attempt got the top prize for realism. See what you ladies think.

Sometimes I wish I were a guy. They don’t worry about their appearance as much as girls do. I hate myself for hating myself. I see the supermodels and hot actresses in perfect condition and wish I could be that attractive. It seems like I’m always too fat or too ugly to get any attention from guys. I want to be beautiful. When a guy does hit on me, even if I know it’s for the wrong reasons, I eat it up. It means he thinks I’m attractive enough, and I love that. I know it’s so shallow, but if there is one thing that can bring me out of the dumps, it’s a compliment. But sometimes I want something beyond the average compliment; I want to be called beautiful. Not ‘hot’, not ‘fine’, not even ‘sexy’. Beautiful. When you say that, you’re saying that I am desirable on a level beyond my weight, my bra size, or how good or bad I could ever perform in the bedroom. You’re saying that I am more attractive on so many more levels than any supermodel could seem to be. I want to feel desirable. I want to be the only thing you can’t stop thinking about throughout your day, the only thing in the world you want to be with.

A simple phrase can change everything. If you love me, say it. Tell me everything about me that you find desirable. As guys want to feel respected and admired, girls want to feel loved and adored. If you like the way my hair looks today, say it. Being told by a boyfriend or even a boy friend that there is something about me that he enjoys or adores lifts my self-esteem to unimaginable levels. People wonder why so many women suffer from eating disorders and the intense desire to be skinny, but I know it’s because they feel inadequate. You never know if I had just been cut down by a friend and so needed a compliment by someone who cares about me. If you love me, tell your friends about me, and do it when she’s not around. This shows that you aren’t being superficial when you’re around her and that you care for her enough to risk being sentimental around your macho buddies.

All in all I just want to be loved. I want to feel safe when I’m around you, knowing that you care enough about me to protect me. I want to be a woman worth fighting for, whose heart you are willing to risk all to defend. Your eyes should be the only mirror I will ever need.

I want to be desirable.

Categories
Life Love

a guarantee

I was walking back to my room after history class today and my conversation with my neighbor Jon took an interesting turn. He pointed out a girl on the other side of the street whom he thought to be attractive. He went on to explain that she wasn’t drop-dead gorgeous by any means, but he still felt attracted to her. I knew exactly what he meant.

When the time comes when I’m attracted to someone enough in multiple ways, I don’t necessarily want her to look like a supermodel. If I had it my way, I would be the only person in the world who felt physically attracted to her, as well as emotionally and spiritually. Basically I want her all to myself. Girls: that means that you don’t have to look like the Hollister models. Someone out there thinks you’re the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. That’s a guarantee. Don’t forget it.

Categories
Etc. Life

Right you are, Aristotle

We’re reading Nicomachaen Ethics in my Philosophy 100 class. In Book IX Aristotle talks about friendship and what it requires. The three kinds of friendship he describes are:

1. utility: where each party finds something of use in the other
2. pleasure: whether it be simply enjoying each others company or sharing a common interest
3. complete: where self-interest is put aside and total moral virtue towards each other is key.

Aristotle claims that one should only have very few complete friendships for they require a lot of work and attention to keep strong. It was also said that there should be no justice among complete friends, meaning one shouldn’t expect everything to remain even. We should be willing to do anything for our friends even if that means not being at even with them. That being said, there are certain necessities for friendship:

-there should be a conscious reciprocity, meaning that the love within the friendship should be able to go both ways
-and that doing things for your friend isn’t something done merely out of goodwill for them. We should be willing to do those things out of complete love for them and not out of charity.

The reason I’m writing about this is because after I heard all of this, I realized that my friendships are always like this. I always seem to need justice within my friendships. This feeling probably comes from the pride within all of us. CS Lewis talked about pride in Mere Christianity as an ugly beast inside of us that works completely against all the good we hope for. It therefore is linked to humility. I want to be able to serve and love my friends without the expectation of eventual justice. It’s a daily battle I think we all fight.

That’s my two pennies.

Categories
Life

Test one two…

I thought I’d give this blog thing a whirl. I realized that I have all these thoughts floating around in my head and they never seem to get into my journal or someplace useful. Let’s just have a discussion. You and me, camping in the mountains beneath the stars with nothing better to do than talk.

Thanks for stopping by, blogger.